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View Full Version : [List] Funniest thing you've heard during the "hot mic bug"...


Artnez
2009-11-09, 01:04
If someone is speaking into their mic just as the round ends, their mic will be hot for about 10 seconds in the next loading screen. It doesn't matter if they use push to talk, their mic will be hot as if they're pressing the push to talk key (even though they're not pressing it!).

This is pretty fun :) We get a 10 second glimpse into someone's life between rounds.

What are the funniest things you've heard? For me:

- -

That's bulls***!

... F**K YOU!

- -

Wife: You said you'd be ready in 2 minutes
Player: I said I COULD be ready in 2 minutes
Wife: No, I said I'd like to leave in 2 minutes and you said OK
Player: Oooh, you said you'd LIKE to leave in 2 minutes

*pause*

Player: Ok.

- -

Turkey.
No, TURKEY.
Tee You Are Kay Ee Why - T-U-R-K-E-Y
*some loud noise, sounds like he got up*

Sniperdog
2009-11-09, 01:07
Not during the end of a round but regardless it was definitely not intended to be heard:

<in the background>

WHERES THE F*CKING PLUNGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gazzthompson
2009-11-09, 02:24
epic thread, cant think of much now but the basic "god *enter squad members name here* is fuc*ing retarded"

TOME Malambri
2009-11-09, 02:27
"That squad leader [me] sucked"

"Buuuuuuuurp"

"Ughh not [expletive] insurgency again"

=Toasted=
2009-11-09, 02:42
Only thing I've heard (that was legible)was "Ugh not korengal valley" (Korengal was next map in rotation) Followed by some high pitched static noise.

Oh yeah I heard a guy making slurping noises, as well as people eating.

ReadMenace
2009-11-09, 02:49
epic thread, cant think of much now but the basic "god *enter squad members name here* is fuc*ing retarded"

Gazz, I didn't realize that we've played together. :lol:

-REad

ledo1222
2009-11-09, 02:54
The Most F*** Up thing iv heard is "Im going to rape that guy and be an ass" He started to Flip the choppars and Kill us.

steve_06-07
2009-11-09, 03:15
I've could sworn I heard someone throw up way back in .6, he did say he was "not feeling well" during the match.

mat552
2009-11-09, 03:17
Actually I take off my headphones until the next map starts loading.

Someone once started into their "personal time" as soon as the game ended. I have never been so horrified.

casiNo
2009-11-09, 03:23
Actually I take off my headphones until the next map starts loading.

Someone once started into their "personal time" as soon as the game ended. I have never been so horrified.

Wait...to the loading screen?:shock:

mat552
2009-11-09, 03:29
Wait...to the loading screen?:shock:

It is not my duty to question how good someone finds their personal scores after a round..

Jaymz
2009-11-09, 03:48
Actually I take off my headphones until the next map starts loading.

Someone once started into their "personal time" as soon as the game ended. I have never been so horrified.

Wait...to the loading screen?:shock:

It is not my duty to question how good someone finds their personal scores after a round..

loool, that just made my day!

Outlawz7
2009-11-09, 03:59
Meh I mostly hear just mumbling and static noise from people.

BloodBane611
2009-11-09, 04:54
I was there at the beginning of the next round artnez. My favorite part was where the other guys in his squad started talking about it on global chat.

z0MbA
2009-11-09, 04:59
i was doing some lonewolf sniping and topped the scoreboard and i heard a squad mate say

"P.O.S. sniper...(something i couldnt understand)...Kick his teeth in."

i was laughing so hard

Sprats
2009-11-09, 06:47
some guy joined, and there was another his clan member, they started to discuss some things:

"A:so wait, XXXXX, what do you do?"
"B: i work at tesco, as manager assistant"
"A: no for real, what do you do?"
"B:....."

____________

some fat guy joined, and his voice was so hilarious, i just dont want to tell his full nickname "baz***"

anyways, he joins the squad and starts screaming in some turkish accent " squad leaderrr, i need a rrrrope, thrrrow me a rope" "(1min after he joins the squad) squad leaderrrr, you arrre the worrst squad leaderrr ever!, adai99hg0"(U(GAN"(GB (something in his language) :D

Just_A_Thought
2009-11-09, 08:49
Wait...to the loading screen?:shock:

:idea:Connection to the popularity of the loading screen music?

Truism
2009-11-09, 09:02
Every other round in GSA someone says

"Fucken' bullshit."

I swear it.

galeknight1
2009-11-09, 09:08
After one round a guy started singing to a pop song...

Funniest thing is basically the same squad was together next round and we were all giving him shit for it.

SkaterCrush
2009-11-09, 09:43
Honest to god this happened like 3 months ago but I shit myself laughing. I heard our squad leader mumlbing then shouted something like

"Honey, you wanna have sex"
I heard a mumbled "sure" in the background and I hear my squad leader go "yippie!". I was with a few of the same guys next round and we were shitting ourselves laughing.

Wheeter
2009-11-09, 10:04
I've could sworn I heard someone throw up way back in .6, he did say he was "not feeling well" during the match.

That was me, I had an allergic reaction to the fish I ate earlier. :cry:

dtacs
2009-11-09, 10:12
'that squad was bloody terrible. *hears himself talking back through his mates mic on teamspeak* wait, can they hear me? nah yeah they sucked, wait....OH S**T'

Cassius
2009-11-09, 13:24
Jaymz;1178729']loool, that just made my day!

I second that XD I didnt know the mic is hot even if you dont press b I will have to remember that with my gf around :shock:

ankyle62
2009-11-09, 13:33
ive never heard anything at the end of round, but a majority of the time i just take off my headphones and go take care of stuff before the next round.

CareBear
2009-11-09, 13:44
some guy joined, and there was another his clan member, they started to discuss some things:

"A:so wait, XXXXX, what do you do?"
"B: i work at tesco, as manager assistant"
"A: no for real, what do you do?"
"B:....."



depending when this was, that may have been me nickbond and his brother :P

boilerrat
2009-11-09, 20:21
Someone hitting a bong....ffffffughgughgugh aahhhh....

Spuz36
2009-11-09, 20:32
I had a conversation with another hot mic, we just were talking about the bug and other silliness.

bloodthirsty_viking
2009-11-09, 20:44
I second that XD I didnt know the mic is hot even if you dont press b I will have to remember that with my gf around :shock:

ya, if your holding the talk buttion when the round ends, everyone can here what you say as the loading screen starts =D

Lowjoe
2009-11-09, 21:46
lol some days ago i had the song "i want it that way" from the backstreet boys in my head, dont ask me why. well, the round ended and another guy had this bug too (what i didnt know by then). well i started to sing i want it that way ... na na na and suddenly i heard my voice coming out of that other guy. i was so fucking embarrassed i just pressed alt+f4 after that.

Peeta
2009-11-09, 21:54
Once in a prep for a TG scrim, some guy had a hot mic and we could yelling in the background. It sounded like a gf was getting pissed, I think she told the guy F**K YOU!!! And then we heard kids screaming.... It was actually quite sad because there were children there....

Mad-Mike
2009-11-09, 22:26
Good thread :razz:
Hear someone all the time but its mainly static noise. I normaly go for a p!ss or a drink at the end of a round.

I remember one american lad singing " I WHOOPED UR ASS BOY "

Burton
2009-11-09, 22:48
My clan mate had a hot mic a few days back, at the end of the round, all we hear is "Lol, stupid noob kids" I forget the next part but he proceeded to say a phrase over and over again in higher and higher pitched voices.

I was crying with laughter for about 20mins after.

fuzzhead
2009-11-10, 02:31
lol great thread, ya ive heard some prety hilarious stuff at times :)

waldo_ii
2009-11-10, 02:34
fuzzhead;1179505']lol great thread, ya ive heard some prety hilarious stuff at times :)

Do tell.

Zulnex
2009-11-10, 02:38
Outlawz;1178731']Meh I mostly hear just mumbling and static noise from people.

Likewise. Haven't heard anything funny yet.

bloodthirsty_viking
2009-11-10, 02:49
I have heard so many epic things it would break your jaw... i just cant remember them atm =D

Acemantura
2009-11-10, 03:53
Apparently someone had just come home "Uh honey can you clean the toilet!" a pause "Because he had chili!"

I ROFL'd hard.

AdrwIvrsn
2009-11-10, 04:16
We had a very talkative squad member once; the type that talks straight for a minute and sometimes interrupts important messages saying something utterly unimportant, and also talks so fast sometime you can barely understand what they are saying, other than "te te tete te, te tetete te tete".

Thus, as he was talking, the match happened to end, but he still talked to himself. So, as far as I can remember:

"Yeah, so I... oh. The match is over. Heh! We barely won by 20 tickets, which is funny because we had APCs all around raping us, heh. Let's see... Yay, best squad! What? I'm last in the squad? Well, at least I didn't get as much deaths as AdderEye..." *cut*

BTW, I'm AdderEye

Bringerof_D
2009-11-10, 05:20
Jaymz;1178729']loool, that just made my day!

lol, mine too. good shi* guys, good shi*

i've heard other people quite a few times now, i supose its similar to that bug back in BF1942 where if you were in the middle of typing up a message in all talk or team talk when the round ended, you cant use that one anymore unless you disconnect and recconect.

i dont recall anything absolutely hilarious but more then a few times i've heard arguing in the background or people being yelled at. ussually for playing PR too long.

once heard a mom call into someone's room "hey c'mon get dressed, we're going out for dinner remember?"

Expendable Grunt
2009-11-10, 13:30
Someone hitting a bong.

I have a feeling it was the sniper in my squad.

M.

Threedroogs
2009-11-10, 19:37
it wasnt the end of game sound bug, but one of the guys i play with hit 'b' while speaking to his wife. he said:

"dont make me knock you out, woman."

that one made the whole squad laugh.

(i do not condone violence against women)

Zrix
2009-11-10, 19:41
Have heard this bug lots of time, but no-one did anything funny.

Best so far far is a guy humming the music.

arjan
2009-11-10, 20:03
apperantly some guy was putting his mic in his mout, and i could hear him saying; look i can put it in my mouth and i can still talk. :| following laughing people on the background.

arjan
2009-11-10, 20:09
Ohyeah, also a guy who was moaning about who is going to let the dog out. he or his kid.
Following by him singing; WHO LETS THE DOGS OUT! YOU YOU YOU YOU! WOOHOOO:razz:

=Romagnolo=
2009-11-10, 22:06
"MOOM ?? Where is my sandwich??"

Warpig-
2009-11-11, 01:06
Every other round in GSA someone says

"Fucken' bullshit."

I swear it.

lol, ain't that the truth

Nick_Gunar
2009-11-11, 12:16
"sneeze heavily" then a very loud yell coming from far away "clean your room!!" and then another scream "I am playiiiiiing maaa".

I try not to use VOIP when the map is about to end lol.

I like also the starving ones eating all sort of stuffs :)

LeChuckle
2009-11-11, 15:32
i once heard a woman (probably mother) screaming at the player in russian. not much else

Reddish Red
2009-11-11, 15:53
I know about the bug and say random things to freak people out.

Either that or just say "Nice job".

I haven't really got any funny ones, other then a cat meowing and the guy yelling at it to "Shut the *** up"

ma21212
2009-11-11, 16:09
my friends mom started yellin at him and im on xfire franticly tellin him his mics on lol (i think the bug works if the map ends and ur holding B)

Cheesygoodness
2009-11-11, 16:27
I know about the bug and say random things to freak people out.

Either that or just say "Nice job".

I haven't really got any funny ones, other then a cat meowing and the guy yelling at it to "Shut the *** up"

That's what I tend to do.

If you ever hear someone singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." Chances are you were in my squad that round.

Best one I heard was a buddy of mine. You heard him get up and walk... then a shout. "Damn it you drank the rest of my rum didn't you woman!?" then a bit of background noise and a simple. "Yes dear." before he returned and had to go to the store.

Lowjoe
2009-11-11, 16:30
(i think the bug works if the map ends and ur holding B)

it does

fullonforce
2009-11-11, 19:00
The "bullshit" comment at someones disbelief of the game outcome or a score tends to be the most common of all.
Allthough I did once hear a lot of shouting in I presume Arabic, followed by a burp and lots of laughing.
But the best one was during the end of the round as insurgents myself and another guy (from the LP clan ? :| ) were biking around on Basrah, he was singing highway to hell, as the round ended he totally lost it (insurgents won) and you could hear the banging of the headphones as he headbanged to his own very loud singing :roll:

sylent/shooter
2009-11-11, 19:24
Wife: Jim what the hell have you been doing
Jim: Playing
Wife: Jim your 32 years old playing is for kids
Jim: you really think so?
Wife: What do you think?



Another one....

Person:God dammit we lost again. F*** this game, I blame the squad leader.


Best ones.

SomebodySomeone
2009-11-11, 19:58
Some 12 year old singing :D

Ghost_1ll1
2009-11-14, 16:58
Wife: You said you'd be ready in 2 minutes
Player: I said I COULD be ready in 2 minutes
Wife: No, I said I'd like to leave in 2 minutes and you said OK
Player: Oooh, you said you'd LIKE to leave in 2 minutes

*pause*

Player: Ok.

*

lol I'm pretty sure that was me and my girlfriend... she says she remembers that conversation.

myles
2009-11-14, 17:08
a guy started singing to us * my grandma is making me burgers x3 *

it was funny

the_ganman
2009-11-15, 16:29
My favorite was, yelling ;
guy : were the god damn hell is my clean underwear honey.
Woman: Your wearing em
guy; well, there not clean now



I was slightly disturbed.


Maybe last loading screen music ????

Wh33lman
2009-11-17, 18:55
Honest to god this happened like 3 months ago but I shit myself laughing. I heard our squad leader mumlbing then shouted something like

"Honey, you wanna have sex"
I heard a mumbled "sure" in the background and I hear my squad leader go "yippie!". I was with a few of the same guys next round and we were shitting ourselves laughing.

thats just too outragious, you made that up.

Claymore
2009-11-18, 18:30
This one didn't happen at the end of the round but suddenly our squad heard a really crazy voice in the radio and it sounded like someone was swinging the microphone. I asked.. "Oh my God what was that?" Somebody replied: "A baby that needs to be neutralized!"

woodzkiller
2009-11-25, 21:37
doughter off player: "um dad...i think i'm pregnant."
player: (after a pause)"good for you then"

"i hope it's not muttrah again"(on muttrah server)

a voice far away
player: "yes grandpa, now put that toy gun back"
same voice far away
player: "no i don't know where your pants are"

J.Silver
2009-11-26, 00:28
Round was almost over and I heard this in the background:
" Honey, my mother's visiting for Thanksgiving"
" FU**ING BI***!" * He just died*
" What the f***! Who the f*** are you Mr. Can't Get It Up"
He wasn't in the squad the next round....

DrugKoala
2009-11-28, 15:59
Round was almost over and I heard this in the background:
" Honey, my mother's visiting for Thanksgiving"
" FU**ING BI***!" * He just died*
" What the f***! Who the f*** are you Mr. Can't Get It Up"
He wasn't in the squad the next round....

Yeah, it's always disturbing to know that your wife's mom is coming in a few days.

woodzkiller
2009-11-28, 22:29
Yeah, it's always disturbing to know that your wife's mom is coming in a few days.

speaking out off experians, i guess?

Nick_Gunar
2009-11-29, 07:42
you should make another topic about "hot mic bug" : made up stories lol

Mad-Mike
2009-11-29, 13:52
lmao! :-P ^

rampo
2009-11-29, 14:07
I'd guess about 3/4 parts of these things are true

Xomm
2009-12-02, 23:47
Haha, good stuff here.

Personally, the funniest thing I have heard is:



Player: Pre-Pubescent American

Map: Al Basrah, Insurgency, Insurgent Win.

"TAKE THAT YOU MOTHERF**KING WHO**S!"



Little kids these days, eh?

Duckmeister
2009-12-03, 16:18
a voice far away
player: "yes grandpa, now put that toy gun back"
same voice far away
player: "no i don't know where your pants are"

I could not stop laughing!

woodzkiller
2009-12-09, 10:36
I could not stop laughing!

i wonder what grandpa said the first time

Sgt. Mahi
2009-12-09, 11:45
doughter off player: "um dad...i think i'm pregnant."
player: (after a pause)"good for you then"

.......... Nah-ah

woodzkiller
2009-12-09, 12:22
.......... Nah-ah

could be, my friend heard it, told it to me, probably just trying to be intresting

LyfTaker
2009-12-17, 15:24
Someone hitting a bong....ffffffughgughgugh aahhhh....
I heard something similiar, but way hilarious..

(round ends) mic static (like it was moved or bumped)
*gurglegurglegurglegurgle*
(immediately followed by a horrific coughing and choking noise), then..

*coughcooooough* f**ki*coughinggagcoughcough*f**kin A man* coughcoughcough* f**kin A man, why you put Dr. pepper in my bong?!?*(in a hoarse voice)

Yanked the headphone cord from the jack when I fell outta my chair...

[RGG]Firefokker
2009-12-24, 09:46
Also not the hot mike bug, but somewhat connected to the theme of this thread:

Last night I was trying out the new Helmand Map in SP, when suddenly some godawful Rick Astley song started to drone out of the speakers.

My first thought was that I had inadvertendly stumbled into a goon channel on Mumble, and was about to start a rant about such things being against the Geneva Convention, until I realised that this was actually part of the map (you go and bust the birthday party mid-map, but brace your ears).

Made me laugh, brilliant touch by the developers!

Lagsalot 56k
2009-12-25, 16:00
I heard someone say,

"B*tch make me a sandwich!"
NO JOKE!
i fell out of my chair laughing so hard i almost choked to death.

Styles
2009-12-26, 17:07
In the highest pitch voice ever;
"Mum! The dog poo'd on my bed!"
The most funniest thing I heared for weeks afterwards.

rofflesnlols
2009-12-26, 17:51
"Oh sweet, Hot mic. Hey my name's Mega Goth - check out my youtube page it's... [cut off]"

To this day, I know not what his youtube account is or was... *sigh*

Tricky45
2009-12-27, 21:33
One time I heard a bunch of static and people moving around, I fell out of my chair laughing!

Lowjoe
2011-01-11, 21:58
after re-reading this 1 year old thread and pissing me pants whilst doing it i just wanted to bump it and find out what funny things happend in the meantime :)
so, get started

Airsoft
2011-01-11, 22:02
Someone was playing some really loud music over mumble, and in the background the player's mom came in and yelled "Turn it down!"

Punkbuster
2011-01-12, 09:43
Not in the end of the round...
This is about me:
I was flying on Kokan, And just as I took off, The phone rang and my mother answered and I was pressing the PTT button.
So I started to lag badly and I barely managed to hover then I screamed with all my voice
MOOOOOMMM SHUT THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN!!!!
And everyone heard it lol
And they had been laughing at me for 5 minutes!
But I handled the situation perfectly :D

mxlinus
2011-01-14, 00:25
After I played SQ leader (my name was viper then) in a round in Kokan&Hookers, and had the best score in my team:
SQ member: aaah damn Viper and his crap!

Click
2011-01-14, 05:29
I accidently left my mumble talk button pressed and I saw sinning the end tune to a map at the end of the round.

goguapsy
2011-01-14, 12:42
I accidently left my mumble talk button pressed and I saw sinning the end tune to a map at the end of the round.

lol it's hard to understand with the aussie accent. Did you say you were singing the map tune at the end of the round?

/troll

Click
2011-01-14, 19:33
lol it's hard to understand with the aussie accent. Did you say you were singing the map tune at the end of the round?

Yes I was singing it and I am a kiwi not and aussie.

mikecloete
2011-01-17, 08:34
Not in the end of the round...
This is about me:
I was flying on Kokan, And just as I took off, The phone rang and my mother answered and I was pressing the PTT button.
So I started to lag badly and I barely managed to hover then I screamed with all my voice
MOOOOOMMM SHUT THE FUCKING PHONE DOWN!!!!
And everyone heard it lol
And they had been laughing at me for 5 minutes!
But I handled the situation perfectly :D

Hahaha I remember this. I was sitting in the Kiowa with you when we started spinning crazily above the Helipad and then over VOIP you screaming in some Abstract Language at your mom, we laughed so hard. Then it happened again on the helipad and you randomly went AFK and the rest of us are discussing the different methods and ways in which you had just murdered your mother. Then over VOIP, "I just unplugged the fucking phone cable, I should stop lagging now". Hilarity ensues. :lol:

Acoustic
2011-01-22, 02:01
Not related to bug nor game but still good stuff.

Back in my Xbox days, a friend of mine heard some good stuff through the speakers when the mics weren't plugged in.

*Pre-pubecent boy* "never gonna break break ba break break your BALLS"

"Oh hey, is that a new Hannah Mohntanna song on the radio?" "No it's just Justin Bieber"

"They do it and are always like, look at me I am a hacker, no your not you just have a USB flash drive."

Related to PR though, I don't here much in game nor in hot mic. Just moving and stuff. Though, I am usually the one to join the "russian" squad :/.

Punkbuster
2011-01-22, 11:39
Hahaha I remember this. I was sitting in the Kiowa with you when we started spinning crazily above the Helipad and then over VOIP you screaming in some Abstract Language at your mom, we laughed so hard. Then it happened again on the helipad and you randomly went AFK and the rest of us are discussing the different methods and ways in which you had just murdered your mother. Then over VOIP, "I just unplugged the fucking phone cable, I should stop lagging now". Hilarity ensues. :lol:

LMAO!!
Yes I remember saying the last sentence about unplugging the cable! haha!
I have warned them a trillion time to tell me when they are going to use the phone so that I land the chopper!

Kandahar
2011-01-22, 12:41
''B*tch get me a beer!''
*distant reply* ''Get it yourself * inaudible noises*''
''Ok.... sorry.''

Shovel
2011-01-22, 14:15
After a two hour round of Dragon Fly ended:

"Man that was good, ima go get me some juice"