Man assaults Police officer with his penis

[burghUK]

"A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident."


BBC News - Man used penis to assault female police officer


All i can say is that is hilarious and i envy a man who can cause physical harm with his penis.

[driver-ch-driver]

lol at least he apologised for it, hilarious though

[lucidrians]

Well i'd say my penis is a pretty deadly weapon.


To ants.

[[R-DEV]Eddie Baker]

This was disgusting, but still less horrifying than the last story I read about such a thing. In that case the perpetrator had attacked the officers with his penis after he had cut it off. They initially thought he was armed with a blackjack.

[Colonelcool125]

"Evasive action"?

They make it sound like he was dogfighting her with his dick.

[snooggums]

Originally Posted by [R-DEV]Eddie Baker

This was disgusting, but still less horrifying than the last story I read about such a thing. In that case the perpetrator had attacked the officers with his penis after he had cut it off. They initially thought he was armed with a blackjack.

If I ever cut off my penis and assault officers with it I would be proud to find out they thought it was a blackjack

[BloodBane611]

This thread is win.

This is the reason I hide my girlfriend's phone and disconnect the landline before I get blackout drunk.

[Rudd]

Originally Posted by [R-COM]BloodBane611

This thread is win.

This is the reason I hide my girlfriend's phone and disconnect the landline before I get blackout drunk.

ah yes the 'in case I assault someone with my penis' preparation can never be underestimated in its importance.

[Bamtoman]

Oh what the f***, what the hell was his BAC level? Must have been over 0.25

"penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck"
This line just made me lolz

[[R-DEV]Gaz]

Stupid pratt should have filled out his census form saying he was a Jedi, and the use of his 'lightsabre' was an act of self preservation. He would have got a few grand out of a discrimination case there!

He's lucky he wasn't facing attempted man slaughter charges. Assaulting a police officer's face with a pork sword is a serious offenc......omfg I can't even finish that without laughing