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Old 02-20-2009, 07:01 PM   #41
georgehu2007

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

Lady walks into an ice cream parlor on a hot day.

"I'd like a gallon of chocolate ice cream", she says.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we've had a run on chocolate in this weather and we just ran out. We've got 30 other flavours, so please pick one of them." replied the clerk.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have a quart of chocolate then."

"Ma'am, perhaps you didn't hear me. We are completely out of chocolate ice cream, but I'll be happy to sell you another flavour."

"Oh. Better make it just a pint of chocolate then."

The clerk has had enough at this point and asks, "Listen, lady, spell the 'VAN' in 'vanilla'."

The lady is puzzled, but replies "V-A-N".

"OK, now spell the 'STRAW' in 'strawberry'. he says.

She slowly replies, "S-T-R-A-W", still not sure what he's up to.

"OK, now spell the "FUCK" in 'chocolate'."

She looks at him and says, "There's no 'fuck' in chocolate!'

He shouts back, "That's what I'm tryin to tell you, lady! There's no fuckin chocolate!"

Pretty...pretty badass.

Help me raise my Habamon!
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Old 02-21-2009, 06:20 PM   #42
Drop_Deadx

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

2 Pretzels were walking down the street.

1 got aSalted.


"Hell, these are Marines. Men like them held Guadalcanal and took Iwo Jima. Bagdad ain't shit."
-Marine Major General John F. Kelly
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Old 02-26-2009, 07:53 PM   #43
CodeRedFox
Retired PR Developer

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

Quote:
This is not my own original joke.

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has
been changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and
how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about
changing light bulbs.

Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.

Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the
correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to
please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use
light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this group.

Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is
superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work
best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light
bulbs.

Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post
the corrected URL.

Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are
relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety
including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because
they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs."

Three to tell a funny story about their cat and a light bulb.

AND

One group lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now
with something unrelated and start it all over again!
So true so true.



"apcs, like dogs can't look up" - Dr2B Rudd
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Old 02-27-2009, 04:07 AM   #44
[R-DEV]Outlawz7
PR:BF2 Developer

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

^^

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Old 03-02-2009, 12:03 PM   #45
Rudd
Retired PR Developer
Supporting Member

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday
night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces
to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like
to go out and make love for the first time .
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to
get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an
hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks
the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or
family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so
excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner
table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy
quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still
no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes
with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist.'


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Old 03-02-2009, 08:53 PM   #46
[R-DEV]Airsoft
PR:BF2 Developer

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Default Re: Post a joke :)

What do you call 2 lesbians in Alaska?
A Klondike


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