New European Language

Dark_Wolf · 07-24-2007, 04:11 PM

Thought those that enjoyed the notice for Americans thread might enjoy this. It's a bit old, got this email years ago. If it gets hard to read, just read slower

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze nesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to
understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

El_Vikingo · 07-24-2007, 04:14 PM

PlayPR! · 07-24-2007, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark_Wolf

Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

Haha, now who does this remind you of?

[R-CON]Wolfe · 07-24-2007, 04:17 PM

First time seeing this. LOL

~~ArmedDrunk&Angry~~ · 07-24-2007, 06:12 PM

What ever happened to Esperanto ?

Darth.Skyline · 07-24-2007, 06:29 PM

remimds me of Pinky and the Brain lol

[R-MOD]Saobh · 07-24-2007, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark_Wolf

...

Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

You mean all those darn bunny hoppers come from the European Commission ? Why didn't I realize it sooner

ReaperMAC · 07-24-2007, 06:50 PM

LMAO

=Romagnolo= · 07-24-2007, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReaperMAC

LMAO

[R-COM]Outlawz · 07-24-2007, 08:07 PM

And thats how English turns to German

07-24-2007, 04:11 PM	#1
Dark_Wolf Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 124	New European Language Thought those that enjoyed the notice for Americans thread might enjoy this. It's a bit old, got this email years ago. If it gets hard to read, just read slower The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze nesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!
Dark_Wolf Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 124

07-24-2007, 04:14 PM	#2
El_Vikingo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Inside the "Search Function". Posts: 4,934	LMAO
	*If you are reading this dont stop, cause if you do, I'll kick you in the balls.*

07-24-2007, 06:29 PM	#6
Darth.Skyline Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: London, UK Posts: 3,122	remimds me of Pinky and the Brain lol
	"Rise my pretties...."

07-24-2007, 06:50 PM	#8
ReaperMAC PR Beta Testing Team Member Join Date: Feb 2007 United States of America Location: Southern California Posts: 2,155	LMAO
	PR NA Test Team: Breaking the DEV's Hard Work, One Build at a Time. [R-DEV]Katarn: "That's pretty... PRETTY BADASS."

07-24-2007, 08:07 PM	#10
[R-COM]Outlawz PR Community Event Team Join Date: Feb 2007 Afghanistan Location: Tora Bora Posts: 7,271	And thats how English turns to German
	[R-DEV]Gaz: Shout "WE R L33TZ" at the MD, sucker punch him, then teabag him while shouting "WHO OWNS YA? WHO OWNS YA? SAY OUR NAME! IGI! IGI! IGI! OFP2 Beta plz?"

07-24-2007, 04:17 PM	#4
[R-CON]Wolfe PR Contributor Join Date: Mar 2007 United States of America Posts: 1,067	First time seeing this. LOL

07-24-2007, 06:12 PM	#5
~~ArmedDrunk&Angry~~ Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Long Island Posts: 6,971	What ever happened to Esperanto ?

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