Military Humor - Page 4

PunkRockerDave · 09-06-2004, 07:54 AM

LMAO Boobs I have heard that one...I suppose it's futile for you and I to share jokes with each other...since I believe we get the same ones!

Evilhomer · 09-06-2004, 04:56 PM

Here are a few of my own and some off the web. Most of these are very old as I have heard them many times before, but unfortunatly only the US army make the best jokes.

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

"Aim towards the enemy."

"If you see a bomb disposal technician running, try to keep up with him."

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed"

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper - once."

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds."

"Tracers work both ways."

"If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush."

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. From 30,000 feet, every single bomb always hits the ground."

marto · 09-06-2004, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [R-DEV

Evilhomer]
"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. From 30,000 feet, every single bomb always hits the ground."

It's so true

DrZero · 09-07-2004, 02:46 AM

i dont get the B52 one, its not funny

[R-DEV]ArchEnemy · 09-07-2004, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [R-DEV

Evilhomer]"If you see a bomb disposal technician running, try to keep up with him."

my favorite

Anti-}{ero · 09-08-2004, 03:22 AM

"Any ship can be a minesweeper - once."

LOL..nice

Boobs McGee · 09-08-2004, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [R-DEV

Evilhomer]

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

Don't ever tell me that either

Ya Dave we probably do have mostly the same jokes running around the entire DOD with names and branches swapped out to make the others look bad.lol

And I'll add one more. Once again I take no credit for these, I just pull them off another site of Army Guys.

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic syphilis, Sir"

"What treatment are you getting?"

"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

"What's your ambition?"

"To get back to the front, Sir."

"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed.

"What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic piles, Sir"

"What treatment are you getting?"

"Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?"

"To get back to the front, Sir."

"Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed.

"What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic gum disease, Sir"

"What treatment are you getting?"

"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."

"What's your ambition?"

"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"

Black Beret · 09-08-2004, 01:16 PM

Ha, ha, ha.

Boobs McGee · 09-12-2004, 02:40 PM

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

"Well," he said, "it's three weeks long."

"What else," I asked.

"The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."

"And the third week?" I asked.

"The third week, the fools jump."

Dedicated to the Jumpmaster.......

Especially Funny for all us jumpers out there.

DrZero · 09-12-2004, 07:34 PM

lol, thats great :P

09-06-2004, 07:54 AM	#31
PunkRockerDave Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Langley AFB, VA Posts: 253	LMAO Boobs I have heard that one...I suppose it's futile for you and I to share jokes with each other...since I believe we get the same ones!
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09-06-2004, 04:56 PM	#32
Evilhomer Retired PR Developer Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Liverpool, England Posts: 2,090	Here are a few of my own and some off the web. Most of these are very old as I have heard them many times before, but unfortunatly only the US army make the best jokes. "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." "If the enemy is in range, so are you." "Aim towards the enemy." "If you see a bomb disposal technician running, try to keep up with him." It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed" "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. "Any ship can be a minesweeper - once." "Five-second fuses only last three seconds." "Tracers work both ways." "If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. From 30,000 feet, every single bomb always hits the ground."
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09-08-2004, 03:22 AM	#36
Anti-}{ero Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 152	"Any ship can be a minesweeper - once." LOL..nice
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09-12-2004, 02:40 PM	#39
Boobs McGee Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 35	After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks long." "What else," I asked. "The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools." "And the third week?" I asked. "The third week, the fools jump." Dedicated to the Jumpmaster....... Especially Funny for all us jumpers out there.
Boobs McGee Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 35

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09-07-2004, 02:46 AM	#34
DrZero Retired PR Developer Join Date: Jul 2004 Afghanistan Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 780	i dont get the B52 one, its not funny

09-08-2004, 01:16 PM	#38
Black Beret Retired Military Advisor Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 1,906	Ha, ha, ha.

09-12-2004, 07:34 PM	#40
DrZero Retired PR Developer Join Date: Jul 2004 Afghanistan Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 780	lol, thats great :P

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