Help! I'm drunk.

[Hx.Clavdivs]

The latest rage is to post "How to" on this forum. I think I will contribute and post this. HELP, I'M DRUNK! Feel free to add things that you feel that I have forgotten!

I will soon post "Help, my SL/SM is drunk!

• · Always stack up on beer before you start playing. There is nothing worse than becoming sober and hung over while you are still playing!
  · Considering that every player online has 1000% quicker responsetime than you, take this into consideration when you plan your attack
  · Never plan your attack, you will be dead before you remember what you where doing.
  · To reduce TK's always be extremly aggresive and be ahead of everyone. Even if this means that you must use those extra 5 minutes to run completely opposite side of map and crawl into enemy territory. You are drunk and fearless, enemy is completely surprised by your stupidity.
  · If you TK, do the snoopydance on their head and say "SORRY" as many times as you can before you get blocked from the net.
  · Never engage in a conversation on VOIP while drunk. Claim your mic is broken.
  · Except if you are a merry drunk, then talk to everybody
  · Never start a VOIP transmition saying that you are very drunk. More fun if they start figuring this out by them self.
  · Never EVER try to explain something when drunk.
  · Don't ever be discouraged that you just got awarded the Purple heart 3 games in a row. At least you got a medal. More than 95% of the other players didn't get anything.
  · Remember to take a couple of minutes to figure out what side you are playing on when you start a new map. Make little stickers that you hang on your monitor saying: YOU ARE USMC - or - YOU ARE MEC.
  · Make goals. Examples are: Stage and host your own competition. First one to run the Mashtuur city marathon without getting killed. Knife only.
  · When driving, if your squadmate has his back turned to you and running in the middle of the road, remember to tip him off that you are about to run him over and that he should press and hold, E.
  · If you have to back up a jeep/Vodnik honk your horn "Honk-honk-honk-honk" while in reverse so they know you are backing up. Not everybody understands this, but at least you tried to warn them.
  · If flying, jump out and hope that you are specops. Claim someone else was flying.
  · Only play with your buddies. They are more prone to forgive you when you do something very stupid
  · Snipers do have a qilly suit, but you are not invisible. Let that be a lesson!
  · Even sober people fall of rooftops from time to time. Claim someone pushed you.
  · If you accidentally push someone of the roof, you can't jump of and think that you can zapp them back to life the splitsecond before you hit the pavement. It doesn't work. I have tried. Several times.
  · Don't join squads that are planning to go "stealthy".
  · Leave the squad if the SL is very bossy.
  · Don't be a SL if the commander is very bossy
  · If you are a medic, zapping someones toes can seem like a good idea at the time, but you can't ressurect them. Tried and failed.
  · If somebody claims that you are gay, add that you are also "pretty and witty, and that everything is free in America".
  · You might be witty as hell, but I figure only 1% of all the players read what someone has typed. If they do, they are annoyed that you have typed something at all. Exceptions can be made. First 1 minute and 45 seconds to the round starts you may come up with one quick punchline.
  · In Muttrah city, it takes 6 minutes and 45 seconds to swim from docks to the carrier. Check the clock before you try.
  · Don't stand on top of the 50 caliber on the Vodnik or Jeep. It sounds like a good idea, but the second they open fire you are toast.
  · If you are on the road, and a speeding vehichle is coming straight towards you, just lying prone will not conceal or hide you. Trying to crawl out of the way is not a good idea either.
  · If US RPG guy, don't stand close to a corner and fire of that thingy. It will always hit the wall right next to you.
  · Don't throw a grenade when drunk. It will always hit the door/windowframe, bounce back and kill everybody around you. Except you.
  · You can't carve a smiley on a tree with a knife. Not very realistic if you ask me ...
  · Unless you only have 5% left on your healthbar or because of teargas, if you have just as blurry vision, it's time to quit the game.

In real life, you should never [insert long list here] - take this oppertunity to do so in the safety in a game. Enjoy!

[Griffon2-6]

You have too much time on your hands.

[[R-DEV]bosco]

Haha, good one

[QUINT]

Alot of that stuff is pretty funny...and true.


~Q~

[.:iGi:. Eggenberg4Ever]

Drunk again Clavdivs?
Tsk-tsk-tsk

[[R-DEV]e-Gor]

[DanDan]

yes i agree too much time on your hands. but over all i can see those things helping people. Perosnally i just play really late at night and i get into a zone where im untouchable.

[Valtasar]

· Never EVER try to explain something when drunk.

That's SO true.

· If US RPG guy, don't stand close to a corner and fire of that thingy. It will always hit the wall right next to you.
· Don't throw a grenade when drunk. It will always hit the door/windowframe, bounce back and kill everybody around you. Except you.

Hapens to me all the time

[UKARMYCADET]

LMAO all that is soo true and you have utilised your time very good lol :P

[.:iGi:. Eggenberg4Ever]

Originally Posted by Hx.Clavdivs

Remember to take a couple of minutes to figure out what side you are playing on when you start a new map. Make little stickers that you hang on your monitor saying: YOU ARE USMC - or - YOU ARE MEC.

Errrrrrmmm........... I guess this thread:

http://www.realitymod.com/forum/show...&postcount=367

may be related